As a NASA contractor, and with all the negative publicity surrounding the psycho bitch Lisa Nowak, I thought it appropriate to make a NASA Top Ten list.
10) You keep repeating ‘Houston we have a problem’, to Mission Control and then scream at the top of your lungs
9) You replaced the entire Tang supply with Jack Daniels
8) You keep hitting on your cute commander by saying ‘Hey baby we must be in space, because your boobs are defying gravity’
7) We experience 3Gs on the Shuttle? That’s nothing. I’ve got 9Gs, if you know what I mean
6) You get motion sickness on the moon buggy ride
5) You refer to NASA as ‘Need Another Shitty Astronaut’
4) When drinking in a bar with your crew, you kiss your male co-pilot on the lips and say, ‘I wish I knew how to quit you man’
3) When retelling the press about the next moon landing you state. ‘Oh well in 1969 we faked all that crap’
2) ‘Hey, I can see Rosie O’Donnell from here!’ Oh I’m sorry, that is from the Top Ten Rejected lines from Neil Armstrong.
1) You keep counting down to 10 in Klingon.
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